True and Enduring Recognition

Today's reading: 

• Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. -- Proverbs 31: 30

Thoughts:
First, let me say that I have been somewhat jealous throughout my life that there's such a beautiful passage in the Bible devoted to women. I know I can't really be jealous because so many of the Bible's heroes are men. But to have one passage for men with a poetic portrayal of who we should aspire to be and what kind of character women should hope for in a spouse would be tremendous.

Both men and women share one ideal in common throughout the Scriptures, though: to be a person who fears the LORD.

When we think of women, both back then and now, many times what we value is much less important: charm and beauty. But the writer shuts those values down with deadly simplicity.

Charm? It's deceptive. A woman who is charming while dating may be terrifying once married.

Beauty? It's temporary. All people age. Women are people. Therefore, women age.

What is faithful and true? What can be permanent and enduring? Character. The ongoing choices a person makes. The way someone chooses to decide how to treat people. And the ideal character, for women and for men, is found in someone who fears the LORD.

A woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. She makes her choices based on what will please Jesus. She has the humility to recognize her shortcomings, but through the grace of Jesus is able to leave them behind her and keep growing in wisdom. She is not to be praised because she is perfect, but because she is sojourning into greater depths of Jesus' goodness, kindness, and mercy. With her eyes focused on Jesus, her life is oriented toward ever-increasing beauty. True. Enduring. Beauty.

Which deserves True. Enduring. Recognition.

Enough, and Just Enough

Today's reading: 

• Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. -- Proverbs 30:8b-9

Thoughts: 
We've prayed it often enough: "Give us this day our daily bread." It's part of the Lord's Prayer, after all. But what's behind the request for daily bread? Why not ask for a daily smorgasbord?

I love how Jesus included this proverb in the prayer He taught His disciples, affirming that this wisdom is, indeed, wise. 

What this request teaches us is the concept of Enough.

Only a little later in the same chapter (verses 15-16), the writer describes "three things that are never satisfied, four that never say, 'Enough!'" The examples he presents are miserable. The grave. A barren womb. Land that gets parched all too quickly. Fire. 

There's a beauty in the concept of Enough. 

And with regards to our daily bread, Enough is the amount that keeps us dependent on Jesus while not tempting us to steal. 

Are you being tempted to steal? Ask Jesus to give you Enough. Is your heart turning away from your Savior and Lord? Ask Jesus to give you Enough. Just Enough. Because no matter how much you have and how easily you can fool yourself into thinking you don't need Jesus, without Him you don't have the true measure of Enough in your life. 

Mutual Detest

Today's reading: 

• The  righteous detest the dishonest; the wicked detest the upright. -- Proverbs 29:27, NIV

Thoughts:
We're sometimes naive. We sometimes think that, if we speak the truth clearly, people will respect it. We think that they will respect us.

We're sometimes naive. We sometimes think that, if we stand up for what's right, people will respect us.

We're sometimes naive. We sometimes think that, if we speak kindly and patiently, people will automatically response with kindness and patience, too.

Right behavior doesn't necessarily lead to respect, though. It only leads to respect and admiration from those who love right behavior. We want to believe the best of everyone, but the truth is that wicked people exist. And just as people who pursue what is right are scornful of wickedness and detest being in the presence of wicked people, wicked people who do not care about what is right are scornful of the upright.

This isn't an excuse to get violent and force our ways down other people's throats. But it is a wake up call. Being right doesn't mean you won't get attacked and treated with disrespect. Still, keep doing what is right. And be alert.

Expand Your Neighborhood

Last week I preached a sermon entitled Being a Neighbor in BOLD.

This week my family and I will be attending Ebenezer Baptist Church. We are attending, in part, as a response to the growing inter-racial tensions our country has been facing. We are attending because black lives matter just as much as every other life. We are attending because Jesus can give us our spiritual nourishment just as thoroughly via a black preacher as a white preacher. These are not new beliefs for us, but we are attending because it is much more easy for people to know what we believe when we live it out than when we merely say it.

Ebenezer Baptist Church, according to their website, was founded a mere fourteen years after the Emancipation Proclamation. FOURTEEN. Their existence is a testimony both to the struggles of our African American brothers and sisters, and to the victories and progress that Jesus has brought them and our nation through. Their focus is on building stronger families through spiritual nourishment. They are continuing to tackle the struggles of the community head on. 

Why haven't we attended any black churches in the recent past up until now? Because we are members of a church already. We are members of a church where all ethnicities and races are welcome, a church that represents our beliefs well, a church where we are free to use our gifts and talents to serve Jesus. And usually, people who are members of a church attend that church regularly, week after week. For most people, that is a practice I continue to recommend highly.

But not in the face of division.

And the division between churches in Charlotte -- not only in Charlotte, but definitely in Charlotte -- extends beyond race. And so my family will continue to attend a church that is not our own once a month, because every believer is family. Every church that counts Jesus as both Lord and Savior, that acknowledges that Jesus is both God and man, that preaches that Jesus truly died and truly rose from the dead, and that points humanity to salvation through faith in Jesus is a part of Jesus' Church. Our church is part of Jesus' Church. So are many other churches.

I want to get to know my extended family. So this week I am attending Ebenezer Baptist. Next month, I will attend another church. And just as I invite people to join me in attending Messiah Lutheran Church, I invite people to join me in attending brother and sister churches. You can do this in your own areas of the world. If you live in Charlotte, you can visit sibling churches together with me on the third Sunday of each month -- I'll mostly be using Facebook to let people know where I'm going, but I'll try to post it here, too. Even if you don't know Jesus, please join me. I am not worried about whether you end up at Messiah Lutheran Church, Ebenezer Baptist Church, or any other church, but I do want you to know Jesus.

And I want to work toward peace. I didn't say uniformity. We're not all going to be the same or think exactly the same. But we can love one another and treat one another with dignity and respect. We can expand our neighborhoods.

This is what I'm doing to expand my neighborhood. What will you do to expand your neighborhood?

Please Set Me Straight

Today's reading: 

• Proverbs 25:12 -- Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is the rebuke of a wise judge to a listening ear.

Thoughts:

I like gold. I'm just throwing that out there. 

Not that I wear a whole lot of gold myself. But gold definitely catches the eye. If you gave me gold, I'd be ok with that. When I give jewelry to Amanda (which she would probably like to see happening more often, to tell the truth), she likes gold, too. Sometimes she prefers white gold. But gold earrings? I haven't seen her turn anything like that down yet. 

Gold is attractive. We like to be attractive and noticed. So we like gold. 

Wisdom is also attractive. We like to be attractive and respected. And yet we sometimes reject wisdom. 

Can someone please explain to me why this happens? Not just why OTHER people reject wisdom, but why do ALL people reject wisdom? Why do I reject wisdom? 

This proverb gives us a bit of insight into why we reject wisdom when others are giving it to us. Are you ready? Here's why: It's because we don't want it. 

We don't want wisdom because we would prefer to believe we are already wise. We don't want others to give us their wisdom because we didn't ask them for it and weren't ready for it. We don't want wisdom because it often comes in the form of a rebuke. We don't want wisdom because when we hear it, it makes us feel exposed as people who don't yet have wisdom. 

We are wisdom poor, and we don't want others to know it. So when someone offers us wisdom, we reject it. Which is ridiculous, because it doesn't matter how financially poor we are when someone offers us gold. If you give us gold, we take it!

Gold can make us attractive only on the outside; it doesn't change our actual value. But wisdom makes us more valuable to everyone around us. It's like having our very blood infused with gold!

So let's embrace and cherish wisdom, even when it comes in the form of a rebuke. Let's get over the pain of having our wisdom poverty exposed so that we can humbly and gratefully recognize wise people's rebukes for what they are -- gifts of unimaginable value.

I need this, too. So to the wise, consider this your invitation. Please, set me straight. 

You're Friends with Him?

Today's reading: 

•  Proverbs 22:24-25 -- Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.

Thoughts:
One of the quickest and easiest ways to drive friends and valuable relationships away is by having a short fuse.

If you have a hot temper, let me shoot straight with you for a moment: Even if you have never blown up on me, I may be staying friendly without getting too close simply because I assume that, one day, you will blow up on me. I've seen it happen to others too many times.

But this proverb gives an even more profound reason to avoid close friendships with hotheads. "You may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared."

When we're in friendships with people, we typically respond in one of three ways to significant character flaws:

• We get fed up and end the relationship
• We commit to holding true to our character and confront one another's shortcomings as needed
• We overlook the flaws and eventually start to justify and even defend them 

Whoever wrote this proverb was aiming to be realistic. Confronting the shortcomings of someone with a hot temper without getting ticked off is extremely challenging, and most likely leads to a lot of stress, edginess, and a hot temper. Overlooking the flaws of someone with a hot temper to the point of defending their anger typically means "getting on their side" -- which typically means joining them in their anger and developing a temper of your own.

So rather than getting deeply into a relationship with a hothead and then getting fed up, why not avoid the relationship enough to avoid "learning the ways" of the hothead?

Don't be drawn into a relationship with a hothead simply because you see that he or she seems lonely. Be friendly, but be leery of entering a deep relationship. Loneliness is the consequence for lashing out at those who love you, and it's a consequence that shouldn't be withdrawn out of pity. Instead, pray for these people, speak kindly, gently let them know when you think they have hurt people with their anger, and wait to see genuine repentance (change) before risking a relationship that might make you just as angry and lonely as they are.

 

Father's Day at Last!

Today I am grateful. Today my kids are with me, and I get to enjoy them on Father's Day.

It should be automatic, right?

Divorce changes everything.

When my ex chose to leave, it threw my life and, more importantly, my kids' lives into chaos. Until the separation agreement was signed, I didn't know whether I would even be able to see HALF of my kids' lives. And then I had to wait until the divorce was finalized to see whether my ex would try to get more custody time or not. Since 9/11 (2012, but yes, I have another tragedy on that date) when my ex moved out for good, the kids have moved 4 times -- once with me, when I bought our home with my amazing wife Amanda, and three times with my ex. And twice already, they have watched new men move "permanently" into their lives with my ex and then leave.

My poor daughter, at one point, struggled with guilt because she was enjoying one of these men and told me, "I sometimes think I like him more than you," with tears in her eyes. I calmly reassured her that I understood, because this man didn't carry the responsibility for helping her to develop her character and could simply be fun, while I needed to both have fun and help her to grow; I was her dad. And then I went home after dropping her off and tried hard not to destroy my possessions. I was angry that I should ever have to hear something like that. I was outraged that my daughter should ever have to struggle with something like that.

And last year, my ex took the kids with the other man to Disney. On Father's Day.

I missed them.

And for what? He's already out of their lives, too.

So today I am thankful. The kids are here with me. I got to hear my son Michael be the first to come downstairs, give me a hug, and say, "Happy Father's Day, Dad!... Your chin is prickly" (I kissed him on the cheek).

And then he challenged me to a game of Donkey Kong. And it's Father's Day. So guess what? It's "on like Donkey Kong!"

I am grateful to be a father. Emma, Michael and Tristan are amazing, and my wife Amanda invests so much in caring for them that it has stabilized our home and given me a fresh chance again to do more than merely work to meet their needs. I get to enjoy them!

Happy Father's Day, everyone!

Better than Karma

Today's reading: 

• Proverbs 20:22 -- Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you.

Thoughts:

At work the other day, several of us were talking about how one of our friends had been treated unfairly. And one of us said, "It'll come back to them. Karma's a real thing."

It's amazing how often people claim that.

Karma isn't just the idea that people who do bad things usually end up with bad things happening to them. Karma is an "invisible power that teaches you". It has to do with the idea that you always get what you deserve: "In this world nothing happens to a person that he does not for some reason or other deserve."

We like that idea when someone has hurt us, right? But what about when we have hurt someone else? Then it's scary. And what does this concept do to our perception of others? It tells us that, if they're in a messy situation, it's ALWAYS their own fault. At some point in the past, maybe not even in this life, they did something to deserve a world of hurt. And yes, we could do something kind for them because we want karma to feed kindness back to us. But we wouldn't do something kind for them because we believe they deserve to be treated kindly. Clearly, considering what is happening to them, they don't deserve good treatment.

What we really yearn for is justice. That's why we like karma. We like the idea that wrongs will be made right. And yet we also crave mercy for ourselves, even when we know we have done wrong.

Jesus is better than karma because Jesus offers both (and because he's real, historical, personal, etc, but I'm trying to focus here, so I'll avoid getting carried away)!

Through Jesus Christ, every single sin that has ever been committed -- every bad intention, every cutting word, every act of violence or subterfuge -- faces justice. So rather than seeking vengeance for ourselves, we can wait. Justice is coming. Hell is real.

But through Jesus, there is also mercy for everyone. Every. Single. Person. We won't all receive it, but we are all offered it. How is this possible, when Jesus is also the righteous judge?

Every sinner who escapes the ultimate justice does so for one reason, and one reason only. Jesus paid for their sins on the cross, and they accepted his offer of mercy and forgiveness. They were given a chance at life even though they didn't deserve it.

We are all "they". None of us deserves a chance at life anymore. We have all sinned. And justice will prevail over all of our sins, because all of our sins are dealt with by Jesus; he either paid our debts already when he died, or the living Jesus Christ will make us pay our own debts eternally once he has returned for the Day of Judgment.

So Jesus is better than karma. Through Jesus, not only do we know that sins will be judged, but we also have a hope for mercy.

Next time someone wrongs you, remember that. Thank Jesus that he WILL provide justice. But remember also to pray for his mercy, not only for yourself, but for those who wronged you. Without the mercy of Jesus, where would you be?

Rejecting God

Today's reading: 

• Proverbs 19:3 -- A person's own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the LORD.

Thoughts:
I remember a conversation I had with someone who had recently turned away from Jesus. He had been fairly close and we could talk honestly. We were talking about what kinds of choices he might end up making now that he wouldn't be submitting his life to God's authority and morals. I was trying to ask him what compass he would use to guide his choices about some of the more destructive things we can do to ourselves and others.

This man said, "I would never do those things. I know what's right and wrong without God, and I know what's good for me. The fact that I'm an atheist now doesn't mean I'm going to turn into a criminal."

And I agreed. His being an atheist and rejecting God didn't automatically mean he would make harmful choices. It merely made those choices more likely.

This man is still rejecting Jesus. Unfortunately, he is also harming others and himself at an alarming rate. Most of the harm he has created is legal, and a bit of it is illegal (so ironically, he is a small-time criminal even though he hasn't been caught so far). His life held a lot of promise. His life still holds promise, but he's making almost no use of himself so far. His life exemplifies this proverb, but in reverse order. He rejects Jesus, and now his folly is ruining him.

Friends, being a believer doesn't automatically mean that you make great choices, and rejecting faith in Jesus doesn't automatically mean that all your choices will be terrible. But either way, when your choices don't line up with God's recommendations and things fall apart, remember who made the choices that led to the pain.

And please consider going to Jesus and admitting your sin. Jesus forgives. His grace is amazing!

How to Destroy Your Life

Today's reading:

• Proverbs 18:9 -- One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.

Thoughts:
This verse is not only talking about our jobs and careers. It's talking about doing what needs to be done.

Whether at work or at home or in volunteer settings, what is important about our tasks is not how much time we put into them. What is important about our tasks is that we finish them.

If we don't wash the dishes, we don't have a clean place for our food.

If we don't change the sheets, we don't have a clean place to sleep.

If we don't wash our clothes, we don't have anything clean to wear and we stink like crazy.

If we don't care for our pets (or worse, our children), they get sick and sometimes worse.

If we don't maintain our homes, they rot and repairs cost outrageous amounts of moolah.

If we don't communicate with our spouses, trust erodes.

And at work, if we find ourselves "getting behind," there are only a few possible reasons: either we have not spent our work hours well, or we have accepted responsibility for tasks that we can't complete during our normal work hours and we refuse to take the extra time required to complete them, among others. Both the ones I'm pointing at are matters of slacking. And both are destructive.

Friends, let's do what needs to be done. Don't worry about people accusing you of being a workaholic just because of the amount of time you might have to invest. Keep your priorities straight, keep your eyes on Jesus and your heart on your family, and do what needs to be done -- at home and at work. Don't destroy your life by slacking.

I've Got A Bad Feeling About This!

Today's reading:

• Proverbs 16:30 -- Whoever winks with their eye is plotting perversity; whoever purses their lips is bent on evil (NIV).

Thoughts:
Does this proverb strike you as paranoid? Or perhaps as overly judgmental? Isn't it overly simplistic to make a blanket statement like this? Is it really fair to make assumptions about people based on a quick twitch of their facial muscles? Does this proverb encourage us to read too much into people's morality with too little evidence?

First, let's remember that proverbs encapsulate general truths and principles. There are exceptions. But proverbs proclaim the general rule.

In this case, the general rule is simple, but too often ignored in today's politically correct environment. If something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't.

This verse mentions winks and pursed lips. But there are plenty of other clues we use to decide whether to trust someone. Can they look us in the eye, or do they keep looking away? Do they keep silent and think carefully about how to answer (or what to reveal to you) when asked what should have been a relatively easy question?

And while we shouldn't pre-judge a person's character based on their outward appearance, in terms of deciding whether they could possibly be a reliable person or not, we should pre-judge in terms of whether they choose clothing or speech patterns or other adornments that indicate whether or not they are in alignment with our own ways of seeing the world. I'm automatically more leery of trusting someone with tons of bling who walks with a swagger than I am of trusting someone who keeps his or her appearance nice, but subdued. The first person is trying to prove something, it feels like, and I'm not sure I want to be involved in that.

So if you have a bad feeling, don't jump in. Be cautious. Discretion is a wise course of action. And it's a good thing -- even if it's not always politically correct.

Destination: Stuck

Today's reading:  

• Proverbs 15:19 -- The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway (NIV).

Thoughts: 
You could read this as a verse about how God's directly helps good people. Or you could read this as a verse about the goodness of diligence -- which would be a statement on how God designed life to reward people's good character. I choose the latter.


God's not like Maleficent (from Disney's Sleeping Beauty), magically growing thorns in the way of people because He doesn't like them. The thorns in this verse are the fruit of the sluggard's own character! If thorns weren't a part of the sluggard's life at first, then his lazy approach to life allowed them to grow, making his life even more difficult! So the sluggard makes no progress at all! And it's because of his own character.


On the other hand, upright people's path "is a highway." They're making progress. What's the difference? The difference is diligence. If an upright person has to make progress and there are thorns in the way, he doesn't shirk the work. He grabs a machete or pruning shears or a chainsaw (if he's really aggressive) and gets moving! If there aren't thorns in the way, better yet -- thorns won't be given the opportunity to grow because upright people stay on top of their maintenance, leaving them free to add new projects to their list.

While the sluggard's thorn bushes grow, the diligent clear the land, lay a foundation, and build a house. And a shed. And put up a fence. And start a business. Or aim for and land a promotion.


What are the challenges you keep putting off? Get those thorn bushes cleared and stay diligent! God has designed this life to make diligence much more rewarding! And when we fail? God sent Jesus to pay the penalty for our slothfulness and to change our characters -- Jesus rose and lives to make us new. Ask Him for His righteousness, and specifically for His diligence. He gives good gifts.

Self-Examination

Today's reading:  

• Proverbs 14:8 -- The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.

Thoughts: 
I did not wake up today when I intended to. Let me amend that. I did not stay up today when I intended to. I set my alarm for a pretty early moment and was awakened about 10 minutes earlier by one of my children who needed some middle-of-the-night assistance. So I helped him, then went back to bed.

Why?

Why didn't I just stay up? I wanted to stay up. I had planned to be up. I had plans to wake up, read the Bible, write this blog. I also had intentions to do some chores, make some business decisions, chart out the family's afternoon a bit, eat before work without being rushed...

And it felt good to have plans. But it didn't feel good to have to wake up to execute them. And so I stayed in bed for an extra half an hour. And some of my plans got put on the back burner.

Was that a set up, Jesus? Because this verse really challenges my choice to stay in bed.

This verse makes it clear that wisdom involves taking time to examine and think about our lives. Wisdom involves considering where we are, where we would like to be, and what it will take to make the journey. Wisdom involves making choices about our ways that will allow us to follow the path we have decided on. Through giving thought to our ways, we achieve the purposes and dreams of our hearts. At least, when we act on those thoughts.

"But the folly of fools is deception." Here was this morning's deception for this fool: It will be better if you get extra time in bed than if you take time to consider your ways this morning.

Lord Jesus, please help me to walk in the convictions you give to me so that I can arrive at the destination you set before me.

I'm back. Finally...

It's on my heart to start blogging again. And I was pleasantly surprised to see, when I came back to my blog here at Three-Quarter Tank, that people keep looking at what I wrote in the past. Somehow, even though I haven't posted a thing for years, I now have over 18,000 page-views. It's kind of awesome to know that, just by leaving my thoughts online, people have been getting Scriptural encouragement even while I've been unable to get back into the habit and discipline of posting!

For those who haven't read my blogs before, that's mostly what I write about -- God's words. I hope that my thoughts encourage you to dig into God's words in God's Word with me.

Now that I'm back, I'll also be blogging about two or three other themes in my life: ministry, family, and business. I'll try to keep most of the blog focused on what it's focused on all along, though -- God's own words.

Here's why I'm adding the others:

• Ministry -- I have a vision on my heart to see unchurched believers return to Jesus' church, and to see unbelievers meet Jesus and join his church. So I'll be inviting you into that vision and passion.
• Family -- This will probably end up on here the least, but I think one of the great gifts God has given us is family. Family is worth celebrating, and family is worth fighting for -- even when sometimes fighting for family feels like fighting with family. So some of that may come through in my blogging. I want to be genuine and real, but I also want to protect my family from embarrassment and insecurity, so... we'll see how this actually works out. 
• Business -- I now own and operate a business, Harner Global. Why would I blog about it? Because of my ministry passion. Yes, I know, I'll have to connect the dots between the two of those for you, so here goes: I love to work, and I believe in doing high quality work that provides value to people. On the other hand, my biggest passions are people themselves. I love to help people in tangible ways, whether they know Jesus or not. And I also love to help them meet Jesus. So I have launched a business because I believe that I can grow it over time to the point where it frees me to devote more of my time to people directly. On this blog, probably about once a week, I will highlight the great quality of various products I sell online. And let me simply say, I sell quality products with a 180-day Money Back Guarantee. Because I care about people. So I don't sell junk. If you're interested in visiting my retail website, visit www.HarnerGlobal.com. But yes, that's my dream. I want to grow a business that frees me to fund ministry -- my own ministry and, as it keeps growing, the ministries of others, too.  

With all that said, to start things off, I preached a sermon on Mother's Day: The Proverbs 31 Husband. If you'd like to listen to it, there's a link right here:

http://www.reach-af.org/cpt_sermons/a-proverbs-31-husband/

I'm looking forward to walking with you again as we follow Jesus down the road together.