You're Friends with Him?

Today's reading: 

•  Proverbs 22:24-25 -- Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.

Thoughts:
One of the quickest and easiest ways to drive friends and valuable relationships away is by having a short fuse.

If you have a hot temper, let me shoot straight with you for a moment: Even if you have never blown up on me, I may be staying friendly without getting too close simply because I assume that, one day, you will blow up on me. I've seen it happen to others too many times.

But this proverb gives an even more profound reason to avoid close friendships with hotheads. "You may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared."

When we're in friendships with people, we typically respond in one of three ways to significant character flaws:

• We get fed up and end the relationship
• We commit to holding true to our character and confront one another's shortcomings as needed
• We overlook the flaws and eventually start to justify and even defend them 

Whoever wrote this proverb was aiming to be realistic. Confronting the shortcomings of someone with a hot temper without getting ticked off is extremely challenging, and most likely leads to a lot of stress, edginess, and a hot temper. Overlooking the flaws of someone with a hot temper to the point of defending their anger typically means "getting on their side" -- which typically means joining them in their anger and developing a temper of your own.

So rather than getting deeply into a relationship with a hothead and then getting fed up, why not avoid the relationship enough to avoid "learning the ways" of the hothead?

Don't be drawn into a relationship with a hothead simply because you see that he or she seems lonely. Be friendly, but be leery of entering a deep relationship. Loneliness is the consequence for lashing out at those who love you, and it's a consequence that shouldn't be withdrawn out of pity. Instead, pray for these people, speak kindly, gently let them know when you think they have hurt people with their anger, and wait to see genuine repentance (change) before risking a relationship that might make you just as angry and lonely as they are.