Father's Day at Last!

Today I am grateful. Today my kids are with me, and I get to enjoy them on Father's Day.

It should be automatic, right?

Divorce changes everything.

When my ex chose to leave, it threw my life and, more importantly, my kids' lives into chaos. Until the separation agreement was signed, I didn't know whether I would even be able to see HALF of my kids' lives. And then I had to wait until the divorce was finalized to see whether my ex would try to get more custody time or not. Since 9/11 (2012, but yes, I have another tragedy on that date) when my ex moved out for good, the kids have moved 4 times -- once with me, when I bought our home with my amazing wife Amanda, and three times with my ex. And twice already, they have watched new men move "permanently" into their lives with my ex and then leave.

My poor daughter, at one point, struggled with guilt because she was enjoying one of these men and told me, "I sometimes think I like him more than you," with tears in her eyes. I calmly reassured her that I understood, because this man didn't carry the responsibility for helping her to develop her character and could simply be fun, while I needed to both have fun and help her to grow; I was her dad. And then I went home after dropping her off and tried hard not to destroy my possessions. I was angry that I should ever have to hear something like that. I was outraged that my daughter should ever have to struggle with something like that.

And last year, my ex took the kids with the other man to Disney. On Father's Day.

I missed them.

And for what? He's already out of their lives, too.

So today I am thankful. The kids are here with me. I got to hear my son Michael be the first to come downstairs, give me a hug, and say, "Happy Father's Day, Dad!... Your chin is prickly" (I kissed him on the cheek).

And then he challenged me to a game of Donkey Kong. And it's Father's Day. So guess what? It's "on like Donkey Kong!"

I am grateful to be a father. Emma, Michael and Tristan are amazing, and my wife Amanda invests so much in caring for them that it has stabilized our home and given me a fresh chance again to do more than merely work to meet their needs. I get to enjoy them!

Happy Father's Day, everyone!